Something is always boiling over on the stovetop while you’re attending to a different dish.
where i've been, what i'm doing, what's to come
In the depths my depressing mid-20s, I asked my therapist, When?
When do I get a handle on the seven course meal I’m making? When do the pots stop boiling over? When can I pull the pans out of the oven? How do I make the smoke go away and turn off the alarms?
This seven course meal is, of course, a metaphor for life.
As I’ve gotten older, the seven course meal has gotten a bit easier to manage. No dish is ever finished, but I’m better at realizing that sometimes I’m dealing with the casserole and the pasta is boiling over. Or I have to chop up some veggies and I forgot about the meat I had to defrost.
I’m better at forgiving myself when the meal gets out of hand again. Better, but not perfect.
Because the truth is several dishes have gotten close to ruination lately. I rewrote that sentence a couple times because I kept writing “ruined”. Like the dishes have already been destroyed. That they’re inedible.
And that’s the thing about most of the dishes in this seven course meal of life. You can almost always get the dish back to a place that it’ll be edible. Or you throw it out and start a new one.
My point is, I let this dish get close to ruination. The Substack dish.
I’ve been working overtime to release my course on ghostwriting and to kick off my coaching business. And traveling for playwriting along with prepping for my first production. And keeping up with my ghostwriting work while uplifting my social media presence.
Something had to give and that happened to be Substack.
It didn’t just give, though. It became a source of shame for me. I avoided the app and the website, afraid that it might see me and throw a pitchfork my way for being gone so long.
Some days, I didn’t think about Substack. The days I did, I was pulled into a vortex of shame. And no one is motivated by shame.
But the day would come, wouldn’t it? The day I could sit down and type out something new?
I guess today is that day.
So…what happens next?
I hope to be consistent again with updates on my career and essays from time to time.
What does that mean?
Well, it just means that I’m going to try to be consistent. But I can’t promise to be consistent. And in order to make Substack less of a place of shame and more of a welcoming artistic exploration, I have to make some changes to the subscription model.
I’m not turning off subscriptions, but I am transitioning to a fully-free model…for now.
This means a subscription is patronage rather than a promise of anything extra. In the long run, I want to give paid subscribers benefits, but at this point in time as I am building what I ironically/unironically call my empire, I just don’t have enough time to do everything.
I’m a one woman show over here. I ghostwrite, coach, playwright, copywrite, design, email, optimize, and plenty of other verbs. The only help on the business end is my boyfriend. If I could hire him as my personal assistant, I would, but alas. I can’t afford health benefits, let alone a salary.
In the long-term, I want to offer bonus content for my books, discounts, etc. For now, though, all I can offer is my writing from time to time.
Let me be clear, I have no expectations of you sticking around if I don’t offer you anything extra. Please know I have appreciated your support thus far and understand if it has to change because I have changed. Thank you for being here.
If you are sticking around, thank you too. That means the world.
And if you haven’t ever subscribed, but want to support, consider donating to my BuyMeACoffee should anything I write ever strike or inspire you enough to throw some coin my way.
Or you can subscribe! If that floats your boat.
What’s coming up
Well, let me give you the rundown.
I launched my course, The Ghostwriting Blueprint. It’s live! And people are enjoying it!
I’m going to LA 7/18 for a reading of HypergaMater at The Road Theatre. Keep an eye out for a Substack on that.
I’ve been prepping for The Sporting Life which goes into rehearsals at the end of August and goes up in October at The Factory Theater. Callbacks are this weekend! 😱
My coaching business has been really singing…if you need some help with your romance, let’s chat!
A few Substack essays in the works including updates on my trip to Alaska in June and a few poetic waxings on my body journey.
Oh! And I’m turning 30 in August! I’m sure there will be many reflections on that.
In Love and Deadlines, I explore the rage and joy of being a woman, the truth in contradiction, and the profound hidden in the pedestrian. If this piece resonated with you, tap the heart below. If you want it to resonate with others, consider restacking or sharing with your friends. And if you’d like to support my work further, the best way is by becoming a subscriber.
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